Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Things I Learned From This Election Cycle

America is nothing if not a nation of learning and education. This election year has brought us many lessons, as well as many laughs - thanks The Daily Show!

So, I bring you a list of things that this election has taught me:

#1) There is always something that we all, Republican and Democrat alike, can agree upon. In this case, it appears we all agree that West Virginia is a shithole. It's truly the irregularly-shaped, oblong anus of the country.

#2) If you want your son to grow-up to be a brainless douchebag, name him Tucker.

Exhibit A) Tucker Bounds
Exhibit B) Tucker Carlson
Exhibit C) Tucker Max

#3) Should you find yourself loosing any contest, you should throw all decorum out the window and swing wildly at your opponent, preferably using words that are really scary to inbred morons - like your running mate.

#4) You should always vote opposite of anyone appearing on The Hills.

#5) In the Republican dictionary, fairness equals "socialism" and brain-dead equals sassy.

#6) It always takes a Democrat to clean-up the mess left by a Republican.

Goodnight and good luck... oh, and God speed!

P.S. - Check-out Gravy and Biscuits for an awesome giveaway - including a $25 gift card to Macy's and other fun prizes!


Brad Brown said...

#7) CNN reporter Dana Bash looks like one of those dog robots from Star Wars. Want proof:


Dog Robot:

I could think of more, but the previous fact has been weighing heavily on my mind given the frequency of Dana Bash's election comedy, and I'm too disturbed to write more.

Shaun Industry said...

She does resemble a Star Wars battle droid, or a funhouse mirror Erin Brochovich.

Illuminati said...

What would Heidi be like if she never met Spencer. Something to think about. Deep thoughts.

Shaun Industry said...

Judging from photographs, etc, I think she'd be married to John McCain - and well on her way to joining the army of the undead.

Anonymous said...

guess what democrat? you're a fucking idiot?

"yourself loosing any contest" loosing??? really? loosing? it's "losing" loser.

and godspeed is one word, moron. you wouldn't know about fairness and taxes if it smacked you upside your stupid head.

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