More Michael Jackson Projections

Photos of a projection of what Michael Jackson might look like today if he never had any plastic surgery has been released recently. In recognition of this photos popularity, I've decided to give you some of my own Micheal Jackson projections. I've added Michael when held to close to a flame and Michael aged 327 years.

Enjoy!

Borg Queen, Cindy McCain Fights Off Alegations Of Humanity/Plastic Surgery Addiction

The painfully slow, stroke-victim pace of Cindy McCain's presenting speech for her husband made even diehard (with prejudice a vengeance) Republicans want to stab her with her lime green stilettos and her appearance at the event has the Internet doing back flips trying to find-out exactly where she and her plastic surgeons went wrong. Seek no more, Internetteers, I have the answer. The fact of the matter is that a team of surgeons worked round the clock to fill the dried-out husk of skin that is McCain's wife with Collagen, Restylane and oxygen so that a campaign associate could pinprick her and allow the air to slowly leak out in the form of what vaguely resembled a speech.

Her face was so tight I'm sure McCain handlers had to coat the roof of her mouth with peanut butter to make it look as if she were actually moving her lips as she spoke. Another uncomfortable moment came as she tried to display emotion while holding a human infant. If she tried to smile any harder, I think her face would have shattered.

Note to John McCain: Don't release the Borg Queen until it's time to enslave humanity.

Wacko Asho?

Did Michael Jackson do something special for his 50th and run off to get "the Madonna" (Volumetric face lift)? His once skeletal visage now appears plump, almost portly and pregnant. Examine the eerie similarities in the picture of the ghostly-white pop star against a picture of Ashlee Simpson - aside from the coloring (Ashlee could more easily pass for black than Jacko) - they have the same nose, the same mouth, same (butt)chin, the same horrible taste in eye and hat wear... They look like twins or, dare I say it? Sisters?

First, it seemed all people in Hollywood were going to be drum-tight and Kabuki masked; now it appears that they have their hearts set on looking uncomfortably bloated. Injectable fillers manufacturers must be thrilled. It's a Thriller!

When Bad Teeth Happen To Good(Looking) People

Okay, see, I thought that Veneers were the latest and greatest thing in cosmetic dentistry - the object being, y'know, not to look like you're wearing dentures. Judging from the photo above, it would seem I'm wrong. So, whose pushing the Chicklet, front door-sized caps in Hollywood?

I swear, people aren't going to be satisfied until they have blacklights installed in their gums.

Paris Is A Push-Up, Not A Push-Over, Bra

Paris Hilton continues to deny rumors that she has had breast implants. She claims, instead, that her sizable bust is due to her newly designed push-up bra. But I have it on good authority* that her breast were actually constructed overnight by the same talentless, possibly transsexual elves that cobble together her massively oversized, clunky-ass shoe line.

*My own

Hollywood Plastic Surgeons To Stars: You People Won't Be Happy Until You Have One Eye To Share Between All Of You!

Super-Fantastic Plastic prides ourselves on spotting celebrity cosmetic surgery trends, and have we got one for you today! It seems that the volumetric face lift is still struggling to catch on in Hollywood, where the face stretching stars have just switched form vertical, perpetually startled- looking face lifts to the vertical, 180 degree vision procedure.

That's right, it seems that Hollywood won't be satisfied until they have one eye, stretching from ear-to-ear and one pupil to bounce around from left to right. For example: Sandra Bernhardt has been seen looking like she has an LED ticker sign resting on her ample nose. Brad Pitt is still hunky, but he may be a cylon. Mary Tyler-Moore is out to prove "one man can make a difference" and, if Kanye West catches on to the trend, he may need to switch from the shutter-style shades a la Max Headroom to the horizontal blinds-style visor sported by Jordie LaForge.

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This Post Brought To You By The Letter 'B' And the Number 2

Who Wants To Buy This Boob's Boobs?

From Craigslist, London:

Title: For the Perverted Bachlor Who Has Everything

Subject: Two fake breasts for sale. Gently loved, pre-fondled. Great way to entertain the kids - start a rousing game of breastball on a summer day! Smash them down on newspaper and distort the faces of your favorite smug columnists; better do it quickly before newspapers become a thing of the past! Maybe you just need an interesting paperweight to amuse all the gents at your office. They can be yours for the bargain price of £1 million ($2 million US).

That's right folks, Jordan (Katie Price) is selling her breast implants for £1 million and generously giving 10% to charity. I guess she had no takers for her kids. Damn Brangelina for capping the market!

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Has The Bo' Gone To Ro's Brain?

The 'Queen of White Trash', self-proclaimed domestic goddess, Roseanne Barr may not be in any serious acting mode recently, but she's invading the blogging world with her hair-eating, toothpaste-and-glass-sandwich-making ramblings attacking everyone from Barack Obama to Brangelina.

She says of the Pitt-Jolie's:

Your evil spawn Angelina Jolie and her vacuous hubby Brad Pitt make about $40 million a year in violent, psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children, trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more.

Wow! Okay, crazy lady. I don't know how what Brad and Angelina Jolie do is any of your business, other than that you are obviously bitter. I just have to ask, if you are so against vacuousness, why have you spent so much money no plastic surgery? Let's do a rundown on all of Roseanne's procedures, shall we? Well, there's the double blepharoplasty to remove hooding over the eye and the bags underneath, there's the face lift that has slanted the eyes (like with gal-pal Sandra Bernhardt), the neck lift and chin liposuction and obviously lots of chemical peels... Is none of that vacuous, madame? Since when did plastic surgeons start accepting food stamps? Well, let's face it, plastic surgery is at least one thing you and the Pitt-Jolie's have in common. Angelina's had, at least, a nose job and Brad's apparently had a face lift, making him look almost exactly like Robert Redford.

Crazy comes in all shapes and sizes now, don't it folks?

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The Odd And Unfortunate Story Of Leslie Ash

Leslie Ash is a British actress best known for her role on the 90's BBC television series Men Behaving Badly, as Debra (Debs), Neil Morrissey's love interest. She was also featured in a 2003 crime/police drama, Mersey Beat, as a constable. She is currently married to former footballer, Lee Chapman.

Although other American sites, like Awful Plastic Surgery, have reported that Ash has won a settlement against the British hospital system (NHS) for contracting an infection "while being treated for a fall in a hospital," this is incorrect. The truth is much more juicy. Ash was originally hospitalized for a punctured lung and broken ribs after what she described as "energetic sex" with Chapman. She was admitted to the hospital for the lung and rib injuries, where she contracted a strain of MRSA for which she has sued and won a settlement of $10 million dollars (5 million British pounds) - the highest settlement ever offered in a suit against the system.

The actress had lip implants in 2003, which she subsequently learned she was allergic to and made her lips swell to massive proportions. This left her to fend-off a barrage of insults about her "trout pout" that looked more like a duck bill then anything.

"If I'd lost a leg in a car crash, people wouldn't have felt able to take the mickey out of me so mercilessly....People don't laugh at Heather Mills because she lost a leg," said Ash during a radio interview.

Well, I'm not so sure about that, Ms. Ash. You see, most people don't splash down cash to be hit by fast moving vehicles. It's not a matter of an accident over which you had no control, but one of poor judgment on your part. Lip implants are not highly regarded by the top surgeons of the world and most surgeons in America will not use them, most suggest Restylane injections - although both can leave a person looking like they have two pink sausages attached to their mouths...

"Midget" Porn Star, Bridget Powers' Boob Job

I guess even fetish porn stars aren't free from the job requirements of porn. Little person porn model, Bridget "the Midget" Powers, proves that little woman need big boobies in porn too with her enormous breast implants. Click the link to see uncensored pictures (NSFW) of Bridget.

You know, our old douchey pal, Tucker Max, claims to have had sex with a little person. Then again, those that know him refute the story - like all of his stories - as completely fabricated. Apparently, he exited the house where the dwarf woman was staying and requested the group outside "raise [their] hands if you've f^cked a midget." Then he raised his hand.

Well folks, I have another little story to tell you about Tucker. This one's probably just as true as the one above. It seem all the people that have ever slept with Tucker Max formed a support group to compare STDs. All three women were playing cards when a Filipino drag queen walked in and asked, "Anyone who's slept with a mental-midget please raise your hand." The entire group raised their hands and promptly fell to the floor laughing.


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Paris says, "I've Never Had Plastic Surgery". She's Naturally Fake.

If you aren't already aware, Craftmatic Adjustable Girl, Paris Hilton "stars" in the rock opera, Repo! The Genetic Opera as Amber Sweet. Her character is a plastic surgery addict and possibly a transsexual, judging from the photo above.

Paris recounts having to wear many prosthetics for the role, saying, "The looks were pretty brutal at points. I was pretty embarrassed by all the prosthetics on my face. In every scene I look completely different." They couldn't have been any more brutal than Little Miss Tone-Deaf, herself, singing.

Apparently her boy-toy, Benji Madden, was down with the drag queen dominatrix look. Paris says Benji thought she looked "hot". Well, I suppose now she has a look to go with those clunky-ass shoes she makes. You know what I say folks: if the shoe fits, it probably wasn't designed by Paris Hilton.

Meanwhile, is there such a thing as a prosthetic brain she can snap on?

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Giant Inflatable Dog Turd Invades India

The giant inflatable dog turd known as Jade Goody is invading India after she escaped from her handler in Switzerland. The shit hits the fan: Goody may be offending the Indian people even more on their version of the show, Big Brother. She may be joined by Shilpa Shetty, a gorgeous Indian actress who Goody referred to on Celebrity Big Brother in the UK as 'Shilpa Poppadom'.

Goody is suspected to have had over $250,000 worth of plastic surgery, including liposuction. It appears that said fat suction hasn't done much good, especially on her fat head. Goody has, if you can believe it, a best-selling fragrance in Britain called Shhh... Jade Goody. I suspect shhh... is the sound she heard most as she approached classmates in school. Perhaps she can start a new fragance, Shhhit... Jade Goody.

And she's still working that creepy toddler-head look.



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Trannylicious? Plastic Surgery To Look Like A Man Who (Kinda) Looks Like A Woman?

Fergie's such a lady, but she's lookin' like a tranny! Fergie's a few Restylane injections into her giant inflatable lips, another mid-brow lift and an overzealous hairdresser with a blonde weave away from being Amanda Lepore. The brow lift that gave her the Spock eyebrows didn't help either.

Also, has anyone noticed that RuPaul looks like a more attractive version of Tyra Banks? Tyra's nose job may have given her the petite little nose that RuPaul was blessed with and Tyra's fivehead definitely looks a little manly. Plus, she loves the big-hair, scary-makeup drag queen look. Come to think of it, is anyone entirely sure Tyra was born a woman?

For those uninitiated into the gay culture, allow me to enlighten you with some gay history, or as I like to call it, HIStory. Although men have probably been dressing in woman's clothing long before the time of the word 'drag', drag was used as a term for clothing one used to pretend to be something they weren't in the late nineteenth century in London: there was solider drag, sailor drag, female drag, even queen drag (one man was notorious for dressing as and impersonating the Queen, herself, which was a crime at the time). The latter was, pretty obviously, the beginning of the term 'drag queen'. Pretty interesting, eh?

The purpose of queen drag was not to make others believe you were a woman, it was originally a social commentary, a joke about the strictness and conformity of society. This later developed into a comment, not on society as a whole, but on gender and it's non-yielding conformity. Drag queens didn't want to be perceived as women, but as ultra-feminine caricatures of women. This is the main difference between drag queens and transsexuals, whose purpose it is to pass as women.

I suppose the question then becomes, are women just becoming hyper-sexualized caricatures of themselves and willing to have plastic surgery to that end?

I guess that's the question for our time. While you're pondering that, let me ask you this: is Michaela Romanini really a Geiko caveman in drag?


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S/he (as he prefers to be called) is said to be responsible for most of the "progressive" music that we hear in many of today's dance clubs and discos. In fact, many point to his bands, Throbbing Gristle and Psychic TV, as the forefathers (or whatever gender-neutral term you can think of...) of trance, industrial, and even techno music with their odd mixing and sampling of sounds and songs as early as the sixties. Without them, you certainly wouldn't have Trent Reznor or Marlyn Manson. You might not even have Rob Zombie or the Butthole Surfers. Even Jeffery Star, who's probably never heard of Genesis P-Orridge, owes a lot to the elderly shock rocker.

Genesis was the frontman for both Throbbing Gristle and Psychic TV, but that isn't the end of s/he's infamy. Gen was a disciple of Aleister Crowley (Crowley may be the one that inspired the satanic/evil slant to rock), and a contemporary to both William S. Burroughs and Dr. Timothy Leary. He even founded his own quasi-cult, which later had him kicked out of his native UK and forced him to flee to the US. But it doesn't end there! Gen first began a foray into weird cosmetic surgery when he had his teeth filed to pegs and replaced them with solid gold crowns and his body modification took root when he started body piercing - helping bring the phenomenon out of gay subculture and into the mainstream punk limelight. Genesis was also wearing makeup long before the day of guyliner and concealer for men.

It wasn't until Genesis met a Chelsea dominatrix and pediatric nurse, Jacqueline Breyer, that things started getting really weird. Jaqueline, who later changed her name to Lady Jaye P-Orridge, and Genesis would later get married and form their notion of pandrogeny - the state of two individuals becoming, symbolically, the same person. They took this notion to its utmost extreme in 2003 when they had plastic surgery to look more alike. Both had matching breast implants and P-Orridge had cheek and lip enhancements. Jane had her eyes done, a nose job, a chin implant and she wore contacts to match Genesis' eyes.

Genesis is not a transsexual. He does not possess the necessary gender identity disorder that would classify one as a transsexual and he still possesses male genitalia. Most people, however, assume he is female.

Sadly, Lady Jaye passed away in October due to complications from stomach cancer. Genesis now wears her clothes almost exclusively. He uses her cell phone and has even left her voice as the outgoing message, despite protest from friends and acquaintances. He now uses the royal "we" in many conversations, referring to himself and Jaye as one person.

I suppose what they say is true: there's a fine line between genius and madness -a fine, weird, strange-looking line. Genesis P-Orridge is toeing that line rather precariously.


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I wonder if Igor woke up one morning, looked at his brother, Grinchka, and said, "You know brother, I think we'd look fabulous if we put flesh jockstraps on our chins!"

Did Grinchka wholeheartedly agree? Did he say, "That's a fabulous idea brother! Actually, you know, I've always thought my chin could use a kneecap. And the best part is, since we're brothers, if we get the same procedures done, no one will suspect a thing!"

I've heard of people bringing photos of celebrities for surgeons to match aesthetics with, but why out of all the people on Earth did the Bogdanovs bring their surgeon a picture of Rocky Dennis? Well, in the case of Igor and Grinchka Bogdanov (French television hosts and scientists, authors of the Bogdanov Affair), money has trumped common sense. They've obviously had horrible bulging chin implants, cheek implants and I'm just guessing that the face stretch they've had has left their ears somewhere at the back of their necks - plastic surgery surround sound!

Now that we've covered France, how about a jaunt to beautiful Italy? Ahhhh... Roma, the eternal city. Italians live in one of the most beautiful places in the world, and if you're a lover of the Italian look (and who isn't?), then their gorgeous little peninsula is home to some of the most beautiful people in the world as well. Except for, of course, Italian socialite, Michaela Romanini. Nope, that's not Mick Jagger in drag, that is what I can only assume to be an actual woman - it's a sad world we live in when Mick Jagger is a prettier female than a real woman. *le sigh* But hey, maybe Michaela can get work as a female Geiko caveman!

Apparently, the massive-vagina-on-your-face look is en vogue in Italy. It's also the look du jour for Donatella Verginaface, herself.


WOW! The world just got a little scarier, didn't it?

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Does Joel McHale Have An Advancing Hairline?

It maybe the first time in history anyone has actually not complained about hair in their Soup.

Joel McHale, host of E! Television Network's The Soup, has pretty obviously (obvious only in the fact that his hair is much thicker now than before) had a high-quality FUT (Follicular Unit Transplantation) hair transplant within the last few years. When he began hosting the reality/talk show comedy review, his hairline was pretty much non-existent. Now, although he's kept the receding look, he appears to have a head full of lush locks.

So, what gives? It is likely that Joel went to a high-quality hair transplantation physician, the kind that are recommended by the Hair Transplant Network. The world's leading physicians in the field of hair transplantation use only FUT (as mentioned above), they transplant fairly large quantities of hair (anywhere between 1,000 and 6,000 [typically] per surgery), they can precisely control the angle at which the new grafts will grow and they can even extract grafts (FUE) without making the telltale lateral incision to the back and sides of the head (this technique yields less grafts, however, and not everyone is well-suited for the procedure - as is the case with hair transplantation in general).

The more mature hairline is typically suggested for hair transplantation patients in the event that they continue to lose more hair. Mr. McHale still has a bit of a bald spot - the back, or crown, of the head typically takes many more grafts to achieve the kind of look that the front of can with minimal grafts, so many physicians advice patients to focus on this area last. Another reason to focus on the front of the head, as suggested by hair transplantation surgeons, is that it makes the greatest and most immediate positive impact to one's appearance. I must say that Joel's transplant looks great.

Other celebrities that have almost definitely had high-quality hair transplantation, include: Steve Carell, Tom Hanks, and Matthew McConaughey (recently, some have been posting comparisons of the actor's hairline from 2000 through 2008, showing some recession in the latest pictures - it should be noted, however, that said picture was taken after he had shaved his head for a movie role and transplants can look sparse when they are cut too close or have not yet fully grown, hence the reason why it takes up to a full year to see the full results. Also, I'd offer this latest pic of him August 7th, 2008 as proof that he still has the appearance of a full head of hair). There are still others that have been suspected of having high-quality procedures as described above, including: Edward Norton, Matt Damon, and Hayden Christensen - both Damon and Christensen have been pointed out by various sources for supposedly having the grinning strip scar caused by the strip excision FUT.

And Hollywood pretty boys may have some more balding company, according to at least one hair loss forum - hey, you sleep with Demi Moore, you're bound to lose hair!

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Don't Change A Thing, Jason Behr

Don't Change A Thing, Keira Knightley

The beautiful 23-year-old, butt-kicking Brit is the next to receive SFP's, Don't Change A Thing advice. For the actress' latest movie, The Duchess, producers wanted to beef-up her bosoms, but the out-spoken talent nixed the idea of digitally enhanced boobs - the likes of which had been added to the promotional material of one of her films, 2004's King Arthur. The digital enhancements did not go unnoticed and let to something of an uproar surrounding the movie and Knightley's phony endowment. It only makes sense that the down-to-earth young starlet took a stand against further digital trickery for her future films.

“She has insisted that her figure stay in its natural state, she is proud of her body and doesn’t want it altered,” says an inside source to the UK's Daily Mail.

Frequenters of this blog know that Super-Fantastic Plastic does not disparage any adult who makes the decision to undergo cosmetic surgery for their own personal piece of mind, but by a different side of the same token, we also applaud those that make the choice not to undertake surgery. We congratulate Ms. Knightley in her attempt to not produce a false image to the viewing pubic and we maintain that she is just that much sexier for it.

Keira may be shocked to learn that women, especially New York women, may be having non-facial cosmetic surgery to look more like her. Plastic surgeons in New York have reported female patients increasingly asking for liposuction on their shoulders to appear more sinewy and defined while pointing out Knightley's perfectly formed shoulders as an example (along with those of the yoga-loving Madonna).

Don't change a thing, Keira! You're a unique English beauty, full of wabi-sabi and we love you!

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Maybe it's the nasal, horsey way she exhails before talking, or that puckered sourpuss face she constantly makes, but I cannot bring myself to like Gwyneth Paltrow. I'm with Kathy Griffin on this one: she always brings that "big 'ole bag of Paltrow-shit" wherever she goes.

So, I was looking at photos of Sourpuss at her latest outing at For Hamptons Amaryllis Farm Equine Rescue in New York and I noticed an odd waxy look to her face (above, right), then I looked for earlier photos and found this earlier one (above, left) that seems to illustrate a few marked changes in the 35-year-old's appearance. Firstly, the lines on her forehead are less pronounced in the latest picture than they were. Most striking though, it seems she's has had something done to decrease the prominence of the muscles running underneath her eyes, up to the bridge of her nose which are far less pronounced in the latest photo, despite the fact that she's wearing a similar expression. Also, her jawline appears softer and her chin is more defined. It seems like her face has gotten more oval-like and less square. And we all know that it's been suggested Paltrow had a nose job - she's even one of the answers in our 'before the nose job' celebrity guessing game.

For Gwyneth Paltrow fans out there, I really am sorry for my disdain for her... Perhaps I just can't get over how the Margo Tenenbaum character is a big rip-off of the Oblongs' Creepy Suzie.


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Don't Change A Thing, Jason Behr

It might seem strange for a cosmetic medicine blogger and plastic surgery enthusiast to extol the virtues of flawed beauty, but I'm a big believer in wabi-sabi: the primarily Japanese philosophy of beauty which maintains that nothing can be beautiful unless it is somehow imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete. It strikes me that this definition perfectly describes the human condition. None of us are perfect, we're all impermanent and we are all, somehow, on a journey to completion.

So, I've decided to start a series of posts entitled, Don't Change A Thing, to focus on stars with some sort of perceived flaw that just makes them all the more attractive.

I'm going to start with the adorable, sexy-as-hell Jason Behr. I'm sure you've all noticed that despite his incredible body, chiseled face, and puppy-dog eyes, Mr. Behr has what some call "car-door ears" - they jut out a good deal away from his skull and frame his face. Lately, it seems Jason's been picking hairstyles to hide this enduring little flaw. Frankly, I wish he wouldn't. Despite all of his great features, his Dumbo ears are, by far, my favorite. And really, I like something to hold onto in bed!

So, what about you? Can you think of a celebrity with a flaw that makes you find them all the more attractive?

Beyonce's Slowly Becoming A White Woman

The face of L'oreal, Beyonce Knowles, has become Bleachonce (thanks raincoaster at Ayyyy! for the witty wordplay) for the cosmetics giant's new ads. Her hair and skin color have been lightened to Michael Jackson proportions.

L'oreal denies any cosmetic procedures on the singer via Photoshop, but it's entirely possible that other cosmetic procedures may be responsible for Beyonce's whiter, brighter skin tone. Chemical peels and laser resurfacing can, not only even skin tone, but lighten the skin - typically, these procedures (especially Fraxel laser treatments) are often used to lighten age spots, blemishes and freckles, but they can also lighten the skin overall. Besides that, here is B looking rather bleached-out at the AMAs.

According to gay rapper - I love him! - Cazwell, B may have to have a few other things tweaked in her next ad campaign (namely, her ass). Homegirl better lay off those burgers and fries, or she's gonna be butt-jellylicious.

I Seen Beyonce At Burger King, declares the gay Eminem with help from V.I.P Party Boy, Johnny Makeup (another brilliant, openly gay rapper).



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