Pete Says He And Ash Are 90% Sure It's A Boy

90 percent sure? I'm 100% sure that's the stupidest goddamn thing I've ever heard. I betting there's a 90% chance its granddad is the real father. There's a reason why people use sonograms and not a Magic f*cking Eight Ball!

"OUTLOOK UNCLEAR. ASK AGAIN LATER."

FTW?

And this he reveals to Playboy magazine - Playboy? Seriously? Will men in America consider tapping anything in eyeliner? Actually, that's probably true. But I mean, come on, do writers at Playboy have trouble telling the difference between girls and boys too? I guess he was too prissy to be interviewed in Playgirl's pink pleasure place down by the river.

Wacko Asho?

Did Michael Jackson do something special for his 50th and run off to get "the Madonna" (Volumetric face lift)? His once skeletal visage now appears plump, almost portly and pregnant. Examine the eerie similarities in the picture of the ghostly-white pop star against a picture of Ashlee Simpson - aside from the coloring (Ashlee could more easily pass for black than Jacko) - they have the same nose, the same mouth, same (butt)chin, the same horrible taste in eye and hat wear... They look like twins or, dare I say it? Sisters?

First, it seemed all people in Hollywood were going to be drum-tight and Kabuki masked; now it appears that they have their hearts set on looking uncomfortably bloated. Injectable fillers manufacturers must be thrilled. It's a Thriller!

Has Mr. Ashlee Simpson Had Cosmetic Surgery?

Rumor has it that emo-rocker Pete Wentz, husband to Ashlee Simpson-Wentz has had a cosmetic procedure to enhance his eyes. The Fall Out Boy bassist's early career trademark guyliner disappeared rather suddenly. Wentz once mentioned that he had adopted its use to cover the wear-and-tear from long hours on the road. He soon halted the practice after becoming involved with Ashlee, leading some to believe that she had convinced him to quit.

When asked of his new wife's cosmetic surgery - her nose job, to be exact - Pete replied that it "looked good" and that he would consider having such a procedure. That indicates that he's not adverse to the idea of cosmetic enhancement. Husbands and wives having cosmetic surgery together is also a new trend, as it has been reported by MakeMeHeal.com that David Beckham and Posh have botox injected together in their L.A. home.

If you ask me, however, I believe that Mr. Wentz is just wearing makeup in recent outings, making the lines around his eyes appear smoother. Perhaps Mrs. Wentz has introduced her metromo husband to the wonders of mineral makeup.

And, just for fun:


Mr. Wentz, your new face will read Parking In Rear.

Side Note (to the front): I was browsing a book store with a friend the other day when she suddenly stopped in front of the magazine rack. She was spying a magazine cover rather curiously when she shouted, "You're on OUT's cover!" Of course, there's no way that could be, but she had peaked my interest. It all made sense very quickly: Pete Wentz (my emo double) is on the cover of this month's OUT magazine. It's not the first time I've been mistaken for for Wentz. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing, or for whom...