Friday, August 1, 2008

Paris Hilton To Public: I'm Not Just A Bad Role Model, I'm Also A Bad Actress

... and a bad shoe designer, a bad author, a bad friend - the list is seemingly endless. It's going to take some disaster of nightmarish proportions to end the torment that is 27-year-old Paris Hilton.

For her next artistic abortion, Ms. Hilton will star as the plastic-surgery-obsessed Amber Sweet in the new rock opera, Repo! The Genetic Opera. The part will no doubt test Paris' acting abilities, primarily to discover if they do indeed exist. Hey, scientists once thought coelacanths didn't exist either... Judging from her past resume, however, Hilton is likely to be this production's dead fish.

Still, I wouldn't give too much credit to the makers of Repo!; they are, after all, the producers of Saw - you know, the movie that answered that age-old question: what came first, the filming or the plot?

Paris has already done some character study with her nose (and possibly a few other things) having been previously hacked off and replaced by the cute button you see before you in the picture above. Also in the picture, Paris teaches us the ancient Chinese secret to making people believe you know how to read: first, grab the closest book you can find without pastel colors on the front or crayons nearby, then open said book and tug on your non-prescription glasses while thinking about unicorns.

(Source: MTV News)

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