Link-A-Dink-Dink-A-Doodle

Quotables Of The NOW:

I found Jesus! He was behind the couch this whole time. I had to cut a jolly rancher from his beard, the poor guy. - Shaun Industry

Observation(s) Of The NOW:

Wow! Okay, so some thoughts have been stewing around in my brain juices for a while and I think they're about ready to be served.

Firstly, Axe Body Spray: if you shop for a signature fragrance in the deodorant isle at Wal-Mart, women (much less, men) will not be hitting on you. It's false advertising.

Secondly, what the hell is wrong with Jessica Simpson's face? Does she have an extra chromosome or something?


It's "beer plus" what? Narcotics?

Linkage Of The NOW:

Scientologists haven't yet cornered the market on bat-shit crazy religious freaks. (Defamer)

MTV previews its new show, Exiled, where it sends over-privileged, bratty teenagers to live with dark people and (hopefully) get eaten by exotic animals. I can only pray this show catches a huge audience before I join as a producer and send Paris Hilton to the ninth circle of hell. (Gawker)

Lacking talent and looks, Lance Bass relies on friend's cancer scare to steal limelight. Classy, Lance, really classy. (People.com)

Alright, fess up, who fed Amy Winehouse after midnight? (Snark Food)

Kate Moss claims she was "never anorexic", "I've always been a Christian," says Kate. Oh, Kate... You're so... pretty. (Celebitchy)

Ricky Martin finds a uterus - it was tucked underneath his "bon bon." (Pink Sheep of the Family)

Death Race is out this weekend. Careful, don't let Jason Statham catch you - you might get $500,000 outta the deal, but you won't be able to sit for a week! (Gravy and Biscuits)

Uhmmm, because the sedatives are so good Paula thinks she's winning an Oscar? (MSN Entertainment)

Girl-on-girl Olympic action time! (Yeeeah!)

Rant Of The NOW:

Okay, so a lot of people are calling me evil... I'm not debating that. Let me just say that I'm a new kind of evil. I'm the Olestra© of evil - I won't make you gain weight, but I might cause anal leakage. I have not yet become the Alli© of evil, as my anal leakage doesn't cause an "oily discharge" (i.e., Spencer Pratt).

To put it simply, I'm trying to put a bright, new, happy face on evil. I'm the Sandy Duncan of evil. But I don't have a glass eye - it's a Wheat Thin.

Okay, enough of my rant! Here's a link to Margaret Cho's blog (it's going in my blog roll right now)! I love her and I wish they'd done more publicity for The Cho Show on VH1 - watch and discuss, bitches!