Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Networks Conspire To Keep Homoerotic Behavior Between Athletes Only

ABC execs decided to play coy - at first - on the question of both whether former boy-bander and nonlebrity, Lance Bass would appear on Dancing With The Stars (he will), and if his partner on the show would be male or female. To be fair, the executives were damned if they did and damned if they didn't when answering that question. I feel the need, however, to point-out that they did choose to take the easy way out and simply pair him with a woman.

Personally, I felt it a little sophomoric and insulting to insinuate that just because he's gay, he'd be paired with another man. Shouldn't we question the sex of his heterosexual counterpart's partners as well? Why was no one wondering if Ted McGinley would be dancing with a man, or Kim Kardashian strutting the stage with another woman? Why is the later such a stupid question, but the question of Lance's dance partner's gender is par for course?

Being the fan of irony that I am, I must contrast NBC's coverage of the Olympics this year with ABC's homophobic conundrum. It seems that at least one network approves of homoerotic behavior... if all parties involved are athletes and publicly heterosexual - wearing shorts so tight everyone can tell whether or not they're circumcised. I guess what we can learn from this it that it's alright to embrace your bros and look longingly into their eyes on national TV, but if you start to slow dance, then the network'll have to slap one of those warning announcements about how it "may not be appropriate for all audiences" and that's just a pain, isn't it?

In short, it's a shame that the writer's strike didn't bring about new network executives. Perhaps we should consider stranding them all on an island and waiting to see how long it takes before they begin eating one another. Now that's entertainment!

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