Friday, August 1, 2008

Super-Linktastic Plastic

Exclusive Of The NOW:

Well, kiddies, exciting news! I have a new post from Audrina Patridge's blog where she tries to type her name with her boobs!!!

Here it is:


Oh, sorry. Audrina, that looks more like 'Pam Anderson'. Better try again. (No, for those that are wondering, I didn't really steal this from Audrina. I made it up - still, it can't be far from the truth.)

Observation Of The NOW:

San Diego-based publisher, IDW has created a set of comic books detailing the lives and careers of both Barack Obama and John McCain.

Observation the first - if you're going to be a comic book President, you must put your fists to your hips in classic double-teapot style.

Observation the second -

That's all I'm saying. Are my political leanings showing? Hey, I say, if it ain't Barack, it needs fixin'. Regardless of that, you can't tell me the red mist rising from McCunt's feet on the comic's cover isn't vaguely Sith-ish.

Links Of The NOW:

Our favorite Thurston Howell III impersonator, Ed Westwick, was spotted at a bar last Wednesday sucking face with some random chick, or so says his publicist... errr... an undisclosed source. The "source" continues to say that Ed led the fag hag girl out by the hand very quickly, but he still had time to wink at a "hot brunette." Rich young gay men with "roomates" never try to get flirtatious with women in public to hide their true sexuality. [/sarcasm] (dlisted)

And speaking of beards (if you don't get the reference, you may need a gaytionary), James Franco talked to the New York Times about kissing his on-screen-boyfriend and Milk costar, Sean Penn. Alas, the beautiful Mr. Franco wouldn't make a good gay man - he apparently doesn't like getting hair in his mouth. (Towleroad)

And speaking of fellatio, the nickname for the coupledom that is Beyonce and Jay-Z is B-Jay. Cut to this photo of the two out on the town with Beyonce wearing pants that have stains at the knees. What can I say, folks? Sometimes you have to write a joke and sometimes the jokes write themselves. (Bossip)

A bitch on the beach... and she has a dog. I think Janice Dickinson is perfect for the model-mentoring business - every time I see her, I want to vomit. (Celebslam)

Professional hot-mess, Tara Reid, looks like she's having problems keeping her balance. It's probably those lopsided implants. Seriously, are you trying to become the next Courtney Love, Tara? Even Courtney Love doesn't want to be the next Courtney Love. (I'm Not Obsessed)

Kim KardASSian
(Cardassian? Freaky resemblance, don't you think? I know, I'm sorry about the geek-chic humor) shows off her chest cheeks at McDonald's. She may have nice - cosmetically enhanced - all-beef patties upfront, but her soon-to-be sesame-seeded buns in the back scream for a Jenny Craig intervention. (Ayyyy!)

Future has-beens, The Jonas Brothers, are on the cover of Rolling Stone. I'm not really sure why. It seems the three sing crappy pop songs about love to girls in braces and training bras. I'm told they're quite popular. I can't wait to see them on Celebrity Fit Club in ten years! (I'm Bringing Blogging Back)

Rant Of The NOW:

I hate txt messaging. I really, really loath it. This is no ordinary loathe, Sade. This is a farm-fresh, hand-raised malice born of a deep-seeded scorn, suckled from pure bile. I despise any form of communication where it's de rigeur to spell with numbers. It's one step above smoke signals, and one below Semaphore.

News Of the NOW:

Super-Fantastic Plastic now has its own domain! We are sticking with our blogspot hosting for the moment, but now you can reach us directly at and be redirected to the blog, or you can just continue to get to us via Don't worry, you don't have to change your favorites or you RSS settings. You don't have to change nothin' if you don't wanna. But hey, now you can tell people that are unaware of our fabulousness how to reach us in an easier way!

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