Thursday, July 31, 2008

Totally Linktastic Plastic

Quote Of The NOW:

"To love one's self is to begin a lifelong romance." - An Ideal Husband, Oscar Wilde (an 'ideal husband', he was not)

Observation Of The NOW:

The Millionaire And His "Wife" -

Somehow, I missed it, but it's hip to be square for gays and... ehem... alleged gays. Pictured above, Gossip Girl's Ed Westwick and largely useless material brother, Chris Ciccone, do their best Thurston Howell III impressions.

Links Of The NOW:

"I'm not gay," says Ed Westwick - Gossip has it that he's dipping his southwick into Chace Crawford - as he prances around holding candy in his lavender pants (I shit you not, lavender pants) and lavender and pink striped shirt. Ed, if you're going to spend so much time in the closet, we expect you to dress better. To be fair, this is actually a costume for Ed's Gossip Girl character, Chuck Bass, that just so happens to make Ed look like a big ass. (INF DAILY)

Rossie O'Donnell should take over for Dr. Drew on Celebrity Rehab - she's the 'Queen of Quit'. She's adding blogging to the list of things she won't do again - that is, until another temporary opportunity comes along. (Jossip)

If the shoe fits, it probably wasn't designed by Paris Hilton. (Webster's Is My Bitch)

With all the sitting and doing nothing (and the heavy [street] medication), maybe Paula Abdul is afraid she'll fall asleep - you know, for the hundredth time - on Idol. So, instead, she may have her own professional cheerleading competition. People being tossed around with the looming possibility of Paula getting struck in the freakishly over-sized thing she calls a head? We can't miss this! (Popcrunch)

Who knew there were so many literary groupies? Authors get STDs while on book tours. I would like to take this opportunity to announce my upcoming book tour - sponsored proudly by Troyjan (misspelling to avoid lawsuit) prophylactics. (Gawker)

How did we miss this one? Apparently, Christian Slater is still getting us all moist with one raised eyebrow. Unfortunately, you'll have to check the back of his head to find said brow. (Ayyyy!)

Miley Cyrus isn't going to 'kiss a girl' for attention... So young, so hopeful; give it a few years and the Cyrus-desperation will kick in. (Lainey Gossip)

Taking metrosexual a step too far: no doubt my celeb lookalike Pete Wentz and wannabe rocker, Jared Leto, will be duking it out in five years to discover which one is responsible for this god-awful trend, a la the trucker hat controversy of 2008. (AgentBedHead and WIMB)

Rant Of The NOW:

So, you have some choices when it comes to bicycle safety: you check your tire pressure, you make sure your frame's not bent, you wear plenty of sunscreen and drink tons of water as you crank the wheels of fitness. Why is it then that, instead of learning standard bicycle safety hand signals, do many of you simply choose to point and gesture rapidly?

It makes me want to run you over just to prove the point.

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