Hollywood Plastic Surgeons To Stars: You People Won't Be Happy Until You Have One Eye To Share Between All Of You!

Super-Fantastic Plastic prides ourselves on spotting celebrity cosmetic surgery trends, and have we got one for you today! It seems that the volumetric face lift is still struggling to catch on in Hollywood, where the face stretching stars have just switched form vertical, perpetually startled- looking face lifts to the vertical, 180 degree vision procedure.

That's right, it seems that Hollywood won't be satisfied until they have one eye, stretching from ear-to-ear and one pupil to bounce around from left to right. For example: Sandra Bernhardt has been seen looking like she has an LED ticker sign resting on her ample nose. Brad Pitt is still hunky, but he may be a cylon. Mary Tyler-Moore is out to prove "one man can make a difference" and, if Kanye West catches on to the trend, he may need to switch from the shutter-style shades a la Max Headroom to the horizontal blinds-style visor sported by Jordie LaForge.

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Loose Is Out In Fashion And Faces, Proves Tonight's 'Project Runway'

So, we've already talked trash about oompa loompa, Blayne Walsh (P.S. - Blayne, honey, orange and purple don't match... lose the hoodie), but now it's time to take on one of the judges. Well, a guest judge, anyway.

Tonight's Project Runway led perfectly into Shear Genius and its plastic surgery parade (New and Improved With Kate Jackson). The guest judge on Runway tonight was none other than, comedienne Sandra Bernhardt. What she knows about fashion, other than the contents of Madonna's cone-shaped bra, I have no idea, but she should have stuck around for tonight's Shear - she might have learned something from Jaclyn Smith and Kate Jackson who both look fantastic, just entering their 60's and they look as if they've chosen their cosmetic procedures wisely. Then again, she'd probably shun them to pin back her cheeks with Kim Vo, so...

Poor Sandra probably had a few choice four-letter words for her plastic surgeon after she saw her that her eyes have begun to creep toward her ears. But hey, now she has 180 degree vision, so that's a plus.

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