Thoughts On Growing Old

I don't plan on growing old gracefully. It's not about plastic surgery. If plastic surgery is the question, the answer is yes. This is about attitude. People don't like me now, why should they like me just because I have hair growing out of my ears and my testicles knock against my knees? Still, I'm not as vain as some. I plan on leaving this world the same way I came into it: bald, toothless and in the arms of a scared-senseless twenty year-old.