Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Disasterous Stand-up Routine Leads McCain Camp To Hire Out-Of-Work Comedian

After being booed off stage for his corny stand-up comedy bit at White-Aide: old white men helping other old white men, John McCain's campaign team has hired an out-of-work comedian (Jerry Seinfeld) to endorse their out of touch candidate.

"I'm John McCain and I'm an abacus."

I don't think this is a good idea, John. Do you remember the last time a public figure told the people to "eat cake"?

On another note, I know I make fun of the old man/dumb bimbo ticket a lot, so I've decided to spend part of this post helping them out. Now, this campaign has had a lot of problems getting hippie, pot-smoking musicians to support their campaign with rock songs from the eighties - which, incidentally, is the last decade in which John McCain could get an erection without the aid of Viagra - so, I've decided to suggest some new campaign songs.

Instead of Barracuda by Heart for Sarah Palin:

1. Stupid Girl by Garbage

2. Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry

3. Barbie Girl by Aqua

4. Stepping Stone by G. Love & Special Sauce

5. Fancy by Reba McIntyre

And for McCain:

1. Hip To Be Square - Huey Lewis and the News

2. Pork and Beans - Wheezer

1 comment:

Beej the Pink Sheep said...

The Jerry Seinfeld talk bubble made me laugh out loud!
As did "Fancy by Reba McIntyre."

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