Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Mrs. Palin Goes To Washington

McCain's made a HUGE error in choosing a running mate based on her gender alone, that much is clear. There are too many scandals to count when it comes to these Capital Hillbillies:

1. Sarah Palin is under investigation for trying to pressure other Alaskan state officials to fire her former brother-in-law, who is a state trooper.

2. She wishes to open several wildlife preserves - many of them bear sanctuaries where the species has learned to trust humans - to hunting, which would be like shooting fish in a barrel.

3. Although she is largely in favor of abstinence-only sexual education, she has a knocked-up 17-year-old on her hands and a shotgun wedding to attend.

4. It has been said that the boozy-floozy pictures of an alleged Palin girl were not Bristol, they are of her boyfriend's younger sister - 'cause, y'know, that's much better. If you're going to drink underage, you might as well go way below the bar, right? Word to the wise kids: if you're going to do something illegal, don't take f*ckin' pictures.

5. Bristol's fiancee is a "f*cking redneck" by his own admission. He has also given a few reporters lady-wood recently. Obviously, there's no accounting for taste. The guy's built like a box and has a curly mullet for God's sake!

6. She wants to have the polar bear taken off the endangered species list - mostly so she can shoot it.

7. She asked the chief of police, finance director, head librarian, and public works directors of the town in Alaska of which she was mayor, Wasilla, to resign for talking to reporters without permission. In 1997, she fired the police chief and the town librarian for "not fully supporting her administration". Although it's unclear what the police chief did, it was later stated that Palin found several books ordered for the library "morally or personally objectionable". There goes free speech, folks.

8. She's actually a really good Republican - she bankrupted Wasilla to the tune of $3,000 per resident in the grand tradition of Republicans leaving their projects, business, townships, cities and nations in the red. Yeah, McSoundwave, that experience is going to play great with your "better caretakers of the economy" routine.

9. She wants to change the fact that most of Alaska has been protected against oil drilling, despite the fact that Alaska is one of the world's most diverse ecosystems and drilling would almost definitely destroy several fragile forms of life there. Some champion of the environment.

10. Rumor is she may be her baby, Trig Palin's grandmother, not his mother.

So, with all of this coming to light, I have to ask: what the hell was McCain thinking? I don't believe, contrary to what others think, that he was trying to steal the Clinton vote - no one could be stupid enough to think that would work. I think he was trying to steal the historic ticket vote, afraid that people would vote for Obama because he's breaking through the racist crap which has held African-American's from our country's highest honor. Nice try, John, but your rash decision making has landed you in hot water once more.

1 comment:

Beej the Pink Sheep said...

IMHO, this is the best Palin wrap-up on the net!
There's a lot of fact and fiction floating around out there about Sister Palin.
Ten things everyone should know.

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